The Part of You That Believes You’re Too Much
Trauma therapy for adults in Madison, CT and across Connecticut
There’s a part of you that keeps a careful distance. Even when you long for connection. Even when you say you want to be seen.
Because somewhere deep in your wiring, there's a belief you can't quite shake: You’re too much. Too emotional. Too intense. Too needy. Too sensitive. Too complicated.
You don’t say it out loud. You’ve built a life around keeping it together. You’ve become responsible, thoughtful, self-aware. But underneath all that self-control is a part of you that learned to hide.
This post is for that part.
Where This Belief Comes From (It’s Not Your Fault)
Nobody is born feeling like they’re too much.
This belief gets shaped through silence, subtle withdrawal, micro-shaming, or growing up with caregivers who couldn’t meet you emotionally. You might not have been told anything harsh. In fact, you may have heard, “You were such a good kid.”
But being “good” often meant being quiet. Being easy. Being invisible.
If you were met with eye rolls when you cried, if your joy was called “dramatic,” or your fears were dismissed as “silly,” your body remembered. It learned that being fully expressed meant rejection or discomfort.
So it adapted. It shrank. It softened its edges. It internalized the message that your natural expression made others uncomfortable—and that you had to manage that.
Why This Belief Still Runs the Show
You can name the pattern. You can explain the origin. And still—you hold back in conversations. You question your tone. You edit your feelings before they’re even fully formed.
That’s because this isn’t just a thought. It’s a nervous system reflex.
The part of you that believes you’re too much is often a protector—a part that formed when you were young and vulnerable, trying to stay safe in a world that didn’t fully welcome you. That protector still shows up now—shielding you from rejection, embarrassment, or perceived shame.
But the cost is high:
You second-guess yourself in close relationships
You feel like you have to earn your right to take up space
You over-function to prove you’re “not a burden”
You disconnect from your joy, your anger, your grief
You carry a quiet ache: “If I let someone see all of me, they’ll leave.”
That ache isn’t weakness. It’s evidence of something sacred in you trying to surface.
You Don’t Need to “Fix” That Part—You Need to Befriend It
In trauma therapy—especially through EMDR and ego state work—we don’t try to push that belief away. We don’t shame the protector. We listen to it.
We help that part of you understand that you’re no longer a child in a house where feelings were dangerous. We let your system update the story.
We work gently with the nervous system so that full expression no longer feels like a threat. So that you can speak without bracing. Cry without apologizing. Take up space without rehearsing or shrinking.
EMDR helps release the emotional charge from old imprints. Ego state therapy helps support the inner parts still stuck in protection. Mindfulness helps you stay present with what arises instead of collapsing into old roles.
This isn’t about becoming more likable. It’s about becoming more you.
You Are Not Too Much—You Were Measured by People Who Were Not Enough
When a parent, teacher, or partner lacks the emotional capacity to meet you, they don’t say, “I can’t hold this.” They say, “You’re too much.”
You are not too loud, too sensitive, or too intense. You are exactly the right amount. You are just carrying old messages that were never yours to hold.
You don’t need to keep shrinking to fit into places you’ve outgrown.
If You're Ready to Stop Editing Who You Are—Let's Begin
I work with adults across Connecticut who are ready to stop performing calm and start healing for real. If you're tired of living like your truth is too much, we’ll go gently into the parts of you that still believe it—and help them finally exhale.
You don't have to keep proving you're not a burden. You were never one to begin with.
Reach out for a free consult to see if we are a good fit.
FAQ: Healing Shame, Emotional Neglect & Internalized “Too Much-ness”
Q: Why do I always feel like I’m too emotional or intense around others? This belief often comes from early emotional neglect or invalidation, where your feelings were dismissed, minimized, or punished. Your nervous system learned that expression = risk.
Q: Can EMDR help with beliefs, not just memories? Yes. EMDR works with the emotional charge around beliefs like “I’m too much” by targeting the root experiences that created them—even if the memory isn’t fully clear.
Q: What is ego state therapy and how does it help? Ego state therapy helps you connect with the parts of yourself that carry shame or protective roles. When those parts feel supported, your system begins to soften and trust safe connection.
Q: I’ve had this belief for years—can it really change? Yes, but not by forcing change. This work is about helping your system learn safety, enoughness, and self-trust from the inside out—not just intellectually.