When EMDR Gets Stuck: What Therapists Often Miss
If you’ve tried EMDR and felt like nothing’s changing — the triggers are still there, the body still reacts, and the memories feel just as raw — you’re not alone. Most people assume EMDR is a straightforward process: target a memory, follow the eye movements, and the brain does the rest. And often, that’s exactly what happens.
But sometimes EMDR stalls. The processing slows to a crawl or stops altogether. Clients feel frustrated, therapists feel unsure, and everyone wonders, “Is this even working?”
The truth is, when EMDR gets stuck, it’s not because the client is “resistant” or the therapy is “failing.” It’s usually because something important is being missed — something deeper beneath the surface that needs attention before real processing can happen.
Let’s break down the most common reasons EMDR stalls and how we approach them here at our Madison, CT trauma therapy practice.
1. The Nervous System Isn’t Ready Yet
EMDR relies on the brain’s natural ability to process and integrate difficult experiences. But that ability depends on one crucial ingredient: a regulated nervous system.
If someone is stuck in chronic fight, flight, or freeze — their body constantly scanning for danger or shutting down in collapse — the system doesn’t feel safe enough to process. It’s like trying to repair a bridge in the middle of a hurricane.
You might notice signs of this if:
The client dissociates or “zones out” during sets
Their body becomes overwhelmed (racing heart, sweating, trembling)
Processing stops and loops back to the same stuck point over and over
What helps: Before jumping into reprocessing, we build a stronger foundation. That means practicing grounding skills, nervous system regulation, and resourcing until the client’s body feels safe enough to tolerate the work. Slow is fast in trauma therapy — rushing past stabilization is one of the biggest reasons EMDR stalls.
2. Protectors Are Not on Board
One of the most overlooked reasons EMDR gets stuck is the presence of protector parts — internal parts of the psyche that believe processing the trauma is too dangerous.
These parts might:
Flood the client with anxiety, shame, or self-blame just as reprocessing begins.
Shut everything down (“I feel nothing,” “I see black,” “I don’t remember anything”).
Create distractions or avoidance behaviors around sessions.
They’re not sabotaging healing — they’re trying to help. They were formed to keep the person safe during overwhelming experiences, and they often believe that revisiting those memories will cause harm.
What helps: We pause and work with those protectors, not against them. This is where EMDR blends beautifully with ego state or parts work. When protector parts feel heard, respected, and included in the process, they often soften. Once they trust the system is safe, reprocessing resumes naturally.
3. The Target Isn’t Specific Enough
Another common reason EMDR stalls is because the target — the memory or belief we’re processing — is too vague, too global, or not emotionally charged enough to activate the network that needs healing.
For example:
Targeting “my whole childhood” instead of a specific moment.
Working on “I’m not good enough” without linking it to a memory that carries that belief.
Choosing a scene that’s more intellectual than emotional.
If the brain isn’t connecting to the right neural network, EMDR becomes surface-level. The processing might circle without resolution because the real root memory hasn’t been touched.
What helps: Go narrower, not broader. We refine the target until it’s anchored to a specific moment in time — even a tiny slice of experience — that holds the full emotional charge of the issue. Often, resolving that memory ripples outward and changes the larger story.
4. Implicit Trauma Is Driving the Symptoms
Some trauma doesn’t exist as clear, explicit memories. It’s stored in the body and nervous system as implicit memory — sensations, emotions, and states that have no story attached. This is common with early attachment wounds, neglect, or preverbal trauma.
Clients might say:
“I don’t see anything — it’s just black.”
“I feel something heavy, but I don’t know what it is.”
“It’s not a memory, it’s just this feeling I’ve always had.”
Traditional EMDR protocols sometimes miss this layer because they’re designed around explicit memories. But if the trauma is implicit, trying to “find the memory” is like looking for a photo that was never taken.
What helps: We shift the focus from story to sensation. Instead of searching for a scene, we work directly with the body experience — the heaviness in the chest, the pit in the stomach, the sense of being frozen. Processing these nonverbal imprints can unlock profound change, even without a traditional memory attached.
5. Secondary Gains Are at Play
Sometimes a part of the system doesn’t actually want the symptom to go away — not because the person enjoys suffering, but because the symptom serves a purpose. This is called secondary gain.
For example:
Hypervigilance might feel like the only thing keeping them safe.
Anxiety might be the only way they know how to get support.
Dissociation might protect them from unbearable grief.
If that deeper function isn’t addressed, the psyche may resist letting go. Processing stalls not because EMDR isn’t working, but because the system isn’t convinced it’s safe to change.
What helps: We explore what the symptom is doing for the client. Once those protective needs are named and honored — and new ways of meeting them are built — the system no longer needs to cling to old patterns, and processing often resumes smoothly.
6. The Therapist Is Sticking Too Closely to the Script
While EMDR protocols provide essential structure, they’re not meant to be rigid checklists. Some therapists, especially early in their training, become overly focused on “doing EMDR right” and forget to track what’s actually happening in the client’s system.
If processing is looping, stalling, or going flat, simply repeating sets won’t fix it. What’s needed is curiosity: What’s blocking this? What part of the system isn’t ready? What’s being protected?
What helps: Flexibility and attunement. The best EMDR therapists know when to pause, shift gears, bring in parts work, add somatic awareness, or re-target entirely. EMDR is most powerful when it’s responsive, not robotic.
7. Healing Requires More Than Processing
Finally, sometimes EMDR stalls because the person’s life context is actively retraumatizing them. If they’re still in an abusive relationship, navigating ongoing chaos, or lacking basic safety and support, the nervous system may not allow deeper work yet.
This isn’t a failure — it’s wisdom. The system is saying, “We can’t reorganize the past while we’re still under threat in the present.”
What helps: Address the current safety and support needs first. Processing trauma is like renovating a house — you can’t rebuild the inside if the roof is still leaking.
When EMDR Starts Moving Again
The good news? When these blocks are addressed, EMDR often resumes — sometimes more powerfully than before. Clients who felt “stuck” for months suddenly notice shifts. Nightmares ease. The body softens. The same memory that once felt unbearable now feels distant, like something that happened to them rather than something that’s still happening in them.
In Madison CT and all across CT, I see this transformation often. The key isn’t to force EMDR to “work” — it’s to listen to what the stuckness is trying to tell us. Because stuckness isn’t failure. It’s information.
Final Thoughts: Stuck Is Not the End — It’s a Signpost
If EMDR feels stuck, it doesn’t mean it’s not working. It means the system is communicating something important. Maybe it needs more safety. Maybe a protector part is scared. Maybe the memory isn’t quite the right one. Maybe the trauma lives in the body, not the story.
The most effective EMDR therapy honors those signals and adjusts course, instead of pushing harder. When we do, the system often opens — and what once felt impossible starts to shift.
Healing isn’t linear. And getting “stuck” doesn’t mean you’re failing. Often, it’s the doorway to deeper work — and deeper freedom — than you imagined.